


Kylo Ren Has Issues and Matt The Radar Technician Gets Fucked (up)

by ascatman



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Anal, Choking, Crying, Gang Rape, M/M, Matt (as in SNL Undercover Boss sketch Matt), Multi, Nobody likes Kylo, Not a nice fic, Past Child Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Rape, Vomit, Watersports, angsty as fuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-15 13:23:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5786716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ascatman/pseuds/ascatman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“’Sup Matt?” The man gave him a nod, accompanied by an infuriating expression that clearly showed that he thought he was the superior person. Kylo stared, willing himself not to give in to the temptation of killing this piece of filth right then and there.</p><p>“Nothing,” he replied, voice strained with the effort of keeping himself held back. “Lunch. I should grab my tray, that’s what you do in the cafeteria.” He gave the man a sneer and moved to shoulder his way past him, not taking any care to avoid knocking into his side on the way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This won't make a whole lot of sense if you haven't seen this, so here it is https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FaOSCASqLsE
> 
> Written in one sitting for the lovely folks in the Star Wars thread on /y/ <3

Everything had started innocently enough; go undercover, learn a little about the people who worked under his command, maybe become a better leader for them through some mutual understanding. Whatever it was that Kylo had been expecting from his endeavor, it certainly hadn’t been to find himself cornered in the cafeteria by at least eight of his men. He’d only just come into the room, planning on blending in by grabbing a tray of food and seeing what new information he might get out of everyone today, when he’d found a large hand pressing right against his chest to stop him in his tracks. Initially, he’d glared at the man, sucking in a nice deep breath to remind himself that he couldn’t lose his cool yet and blow his cover, despite wanting nothing more than to send him flying into the wall.

“’Sup Matt?” The man gave him a nod, accompanied by an infuriating expression that clearly showed that he thought he was the superior person. Kylo stared, willing himself not to give in to the temptation of killing this piece of filth right then and there.

“Nothing,” he replied, voice strained with the effort of keeping himself held back. “Lunch. I should grab my tray, that’s what you do in the cafeteria.” He gave the man a sneer and moved to shoulder his way past him, not taking any care to avoid knocking into his side on the way.

As it turned out, that had been entirely the wrong choice. Before he had any time to process what was happening, Kylo was having all the air knocked from his lungs with one heavy handed punch to the gut. It caught him so off guard that he actually stumbled before dropping to his knees, hand clutched protectively against the area as though he were afraid it might happen again. He prided himself on being alert, but he hadn’t thought he would need to have his guard up against attacks from his own crew, even if he _wasn’t_ currently portraying himself as Matt the radar technician.

There were gasps, then murmurs, among which a collective agreement could be heard, though Kylo was too lost in his haze of shock to fully catch what was being agreed upon. A glance up rewarded him with the smug face of the man above him, and he had no time to prepare himself before the second fist came smashing right into the side of his face with enough force to have him seeing stars. Everything was blurry and he could taste blood on his tongue, a flavor that had a sickly nostalgic taste to it. He spat onto the linoleum and caught sight of one of the legs before him rearing back to kick. Cover or not, this had to end now, before things got any worse.

Shaking fingers brushed bloodied lips before aiming at his attacker, fueled on by the satisfaction he knew he would get from tearing him into pieces from the inside out. But as his hand rose, his vision blurred, unable to tear away from the red that stained his fingers. His lips trembled and, for the first time in years, he choked up, body frozen as though someone else had used the force on him. A single whimper left his throat, an unfamiliar noise that sounded too far off to be his own, and a heavy boot suddenly drove itself into his ribs.

The next several minutes were a blur, Kylo was sure he’d passed out, that maybe that kick had somehow been enough to do him in. What poetic justice would it be that he died from his own men while they had no idea who he really was? Surely they would realize their mistake immediately after and hurry to revive him, rushed and broken apologies spilled from tear and snot soaked lips. They would snivel and grovel and be absolutely right to do so in the hopes that he might go easy on the men whose only crime was not stopping their comrade.

When he came to, he almost immediately wished that he hadn’t. He’d been manhandled over a table, front half held down so hard that he was amazed he could breathe at all. Somehow his glasses were still on his face, had he even lost them at the punch? Maybe someone decided they preferred to beat him senseless with them on. Whatever the case, he quickly became aware of just how cold the room was, and it took him an embarrassing amount of seconds to realize that he had been stripped entirely of his clothes. The tightening that rose in his chest was bordering on painful, especially when the hands that held him down shifted to grind him harder against the smooth surface below him. This couldn’t happen.

“S-st- _ahh!_ ” Any words he could have hoped to get out were quickly cut off as a hand fisted in his hair, gripping tight enough to dig through the wefting of his wig and into the real hair beneath.

“What, you got something to say, Matt?” The voice was mocking, fingers twisting painfully in his hair as the fist faught to yank his head back while a pair of hands still kept his upper half from leaving the table. “Spit it out then.”

“Heh, I think it’d be better if he swallowed!” The crude attempt at a joke hadn’t come from whoever was holding him down, that put the current count of future dead men at three.

“Yeah? What do you think, Matt, should we give you something to swallow?”

The implications behind the man’s words were clear enough, Kylo was sure he didn’t need to find out if his assumption was true, especially because he could hardly find it in him to think straight with the way his chest was starting to heave.

 _”Open your mouth, Ben.”_ God, why did he have to remember that fucking voice? _”Be a good boy and swallow it all down.”_

A sob tore from his lips and his fingers scrabbled for purchase against the smooth table, nails clawing at it as though he might somehow be able to get out of this if he tried hard enough. Finally, the hands lifted from his back and he managed to take in a single deep breath, before the hand in his hair was yanking him up and then shoving him to his knees. He knew where this was going, even without the heavy implications of that man’s words hanging in the air.

Everything was so _disgustingly_ familiar; from the aching he could already feel forming in his knees, to the hot wet tears that stained his cheeks and fogged up the glasses of his disguise. Worst of it all, was the familiar heady scent of a thick cock being pressed into his face. The tip found his lips, smeared them with a fluid he hadn’t ever wanted to taste again, and his fingers twitched where his hands hung useless at his sides.

_”Hands down, Ben, good boys don’t fight back. Good boys don’t get hit.”_

Nails dug into his thighs as he struggled to breathe through the snot running down his nose, refusing to open up for even a moment to chance breathing with that thing pressing so insistently against his lips. It was difficult to see through the tears and foggy state of his glasses, but he glanced around, looking up over the frames at the men that surrounded him. There were so many more than three, some already jerking themselves to the sight of their superior on his knees.

But he wasn’t their superior like this, was he? He was Matt, the radar technician, the new guy, the nobody. Clearly they didn’t know what they were actually doing, he just had to let them know who he was and all of this would be over. So why couldn’t he bring himself to speak?

Locking eyes with one of the men who had yet to get undressed, he tried to make a sound, any sound, but his voice was frozen and another disgustingly pathetic sob left him instead. The man he’d tried to appeal to looked uncomfortable, shifting in place and looking around before quickly leaving the room, another few men following suit. They knew what they were doing, they weren’t idiots and they didn’t want to be there when Kylo lost it and killed everyone involved.

With Kylo’s mouth open in a fit of hysterical breathing, the man before him wasted no time in taking advantage of the situation. There was a cock between his lips and Kylo could do nothing except whimper and hiccup around it as the thick length drove in deeper, inch by agonizing inch. A morbid thought crossed his mind as he realized that his jaw ached significantly less now that he was older, he wondered how he ever managed to take something this big, and how he was possibly going to handle taking it now.

“Don’t you dare bite down, faggot. I’ll fuck your ass without lube next if you nick me with those teeth,” the man hissed, both hands gripping fistfuls of hair as he started to rock his hips against his crying boss’s spit and blood soaked lips. 

Stomach churning groans left the man as Kylo was used like a toy, his tongue working off some sick muscle memory and lapping at the underside of the prick that slid back and forth against it.

_”Use your tongue, you have to lick it. Don’t you want to make me cum, Ben?”_

Every time he found that head against his tongue, he eagerly swirled around it, gagging at the taste of precum, but knowing that this would all be over so much faster if he was a good boy.

_Lick. Suck. Eye contact._

Kylo’s glasses had slipped down his nose, leaving it all too easy to gaze up through tear clumped lashes, just in time to catch the man staring right back down at him. His face was so hot that he was sure he must be a brighter red than his lightsaber, a thought that was only further solidified as the man huffed and shot him a grin.

“Looks like he’s…hff…enjoying this! You like sucking dick, _Matt_? I’ll give you something you’ll really like then!” 

All too suddenly, there was a vice-like grip on his hair and he barely had time to suck in a breath before he found his nose pressed directly into a coarse patch of musky hair. His first thought wasn’t that he couldn’t breathe, or that he was gagging so hard that he had a fresh wave of tears running over his bright cheeks, his first thought was that he needed to _swallow_. So he did, he swallowed around the tip of the length that penetrated his throat, he swallowed and gagged and sucked as hard as he could because that was what good boys were supposed to do.

The man was moaning and grinding into his face, meaning that Kylo was doing something right. There was that telltale twitching in the shaft that rested against his tongue and that was all the warning he got before a torrent of hot fluid was gushing down the back of his throat. At least he wouldn’t have to taste it sitting in his mouth like this, wouldn’t have to part his lips to show off the frothy fluid before swallowing it all down. He never had gotten used to the taste of cum.

“Fuck,” came the panting voice of the breathless man as he pulled out. “Little cocksucker knows his way around a dick.”

_But that was wrong, that was the wrong thing to say._

_“Good boy, Ben. You did so well.”_

Kylo’s mouth hung open, and for a moment he thought he was going to be okay, but then his stomach heaved and he slapped a hand over his mouth just in time for all of the cum he’d just swallowed to come back up and seep through his fingers. A mixture of spunk and bile splattered onto the floor and he let himself fall forward onto his hands as his body shook. He hadn’t wanted to taste it, why couldn’t it have stayed down?

“I…I’m s-s-sorry,” he managed to choke out, staring down at the discolored mess as thick strings of mucous and cum dangled from his swollen lips. “C-cum. Tastes… tastes so…”

_Familiar._

A boot planted itself on his back before he could finish the thought, and he went down like the child he felt he was. The sharp stench of his own vomit assaulted his nose as his cheek pressed into the puddle, sticky fluid in his wig, on his skin, seeping into his pores.

“You think Kylo Ren would cry this much about throwing up and getting fucked?” The words cut through everything, sounding so crystal clear that he could have sworn all other noise in the room had completely stopped just so that they could be heard. “Why can’t you be more like him?”

He broke, he was gone. If there had been an ounce of Ben left in him before this then he was certain he must have just been completely eradicated from existence. All that was left was a gaping hole somewhere in his chest where his heart was probably supposed to be.

No sound left him when he felt his hips being lifted, he didn’t flinch when his cheeks were spread by rough and uncaring hands. Kylo turned his face further into the mess below him and let himself go limp, let the dry finger prodding at his hole slide inside without a fight, focused his gaze on a stain he noticed on the floor beneath the table. Counted the spackling dots on the linoleum.  


_”Don’t hold your breath. Breathe, Ben, it won’t hurt for long.”_

A sharp pain coursed through him, tearing him out of his thoughts with a scream that had the men around him all pausing in what they were doing. It wasn’t supposed to hurt, he wasn’t supposed to be able to be hurt. He was better than that.

Kylo clawed at the floor as he desperately tried to pull himself away from the burning ache in his hole, but his fingers slipped in his vomit, squeaking pathetically and getting him absolutely nowhere. Strong hands gripped onto his hips and pulled back on him, impaling him entirely on a length that was so hot it felt as though it could sear right through him. He wondered briefly if that was a lightsaber inside of him, rather than anything fleshy and human, but what little part of his brain that was still capable of cognizant thought reminded him that he would be dead already had that been the case. Maybe that would have been better.

The man behind him only gave him a few seconds to steel himself before pulling out, dragging that filthy burning _thing_ along Kylo’s insides, then slamming it all back inside in a single harsh move. His throat was raw from puking, but there was no stopping the scream that left his lungs aching and his esophagus feeling like it was going to bleed.

“Listen to those lungs, you gonna sing for us?” Another painful thrust, another sharp scream. “There you go, sing just like that!”

“He keeps opening up those lips and I might have to do something about it.”

By then the man had set up a rhythm; in and out, deep and slow. Kylo’s body was rocked against the floor, cheek pushed through the smeared puddle over and over. Another hand found his hair, fingers digging into his scalp to make sure it grabbed hold of the dark locks beneath his blonde wig. As his head was lifted from the puddle, thick and sticky strings of cum left him connected up until they broke and fell in strands against his skin. His glasses sat askew on his face, frame bent from where they would normally fold in, leaving them irreparably crooked as he was forced to come face to face with yet another cock.

The length before him was flaccid, but it was pressed to his lips regardless, the tip resting almost gently on top of his quivering lower lip. Kylo looked up at the owner of the cock, blinking tiredly through dark lashes that still clung together from his tears. The sound of trickling fluid hit his ears at the same time a sharp taste hit his tongue, and yet it didn’t register until he caught a whiff of urine. Kylo’s shoulders drooped, then seized up as he found enough fight to attempt to jerk away. The man had anticipated that however, and a strong grip took hold of his jaw, squeezing and forcing a thumb into the side of his mouth to keep it open.

“Swallow,” came a firm order.

There was nothing he could do to stop a second wave of nausea from hitting him, all the thrusting leaving his stomach churning like that man’s cock was somehow reaching all the way inside of it. Rather than swallow, the piss all dripped from the corners of his mouth and added to the growing mixture of fluids on the floor. There was nothing left to vomit thankfully, a small ray of goodness in this otherwise detestable experience, but that didn’t stop him from dry heaving and sputtering, sending urine splashing out onto the man before him. The back of a hand contacted his cheek, the same spot he’d felt a bruise forming from the last punch he’d received, and he would have gone down had there not been a vice grip on his hair.

“Little bitch, I always knew you were a pussy.”

Through the blur of tears and the mess that smeared the lenses of his glasses, Kylo could vaguely make out a hand moving quickly on the same cock he’d just been forced to drink from. A simple grunt was all the warning he received before thick ropes of cum were sent spattering onto him, coating his glasses and leaving even more of a filthy mess of his already abused face. It stung his eye where he hadn’t closed it in time and seeped into his mouth as he parted his lips to pant softly at the thrusting that he was growing sickeningly used to.

He was tossed down like a ragdoll as soon as the man was satisfied with the state of his face, a blur of something blonde passing through what little vision he had. It took a moment to realize that his wig had just fallen off, that it was laying out of reach and there was no way they couldn’t know it was him now. One hand lifted up to run through his hair as a relieved sob left him, they would stop now, it was all over.

And yet the sharp throbbing burn in his ass still remained, sped up in pace even. Desperately, he looked around him, saw that no one was moving from their previous positions, no one wore a look of shock or remorse or even any semblance of care.

They knew. Every one of them. They knew from the very beginning and they all kept going.

_”You know I’m the only one who cares about you, Ben.”_

A searing heat shot deep into his bowels, followed by an uncomfortable emptiness, there was no warmth to be had as Kylo was shoved forward, left to curl up in his own filth, cock somehow painfully hard because that was what it was _supposed_ to do when he was fucked. He felt like a child again, refusing to look up even as he heard whispers and the sound of a different pair of boots echoing across the floor. There was the presence of a body knelt down next to him, then a pair of comforting arms slipping around him, lifting him like he weighed nothing (30 pounds wet, maybe he _was_ a child), a smooth voice spoke in his ear (harsh tone, his fault), and he hid his face in the shoulder of a stiff general uniform as he was swiftly carried from the room.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this a three part fic, we'll see what happens after the next chapter. Maybe it'll end, maybe I'll decide to keep going. Let me know what you think, comments and kudos are greatly appreciated!!

Everything was so soft. Soft blankets, soft voice, soft warmth. Rough hands were on his face, though they were gentle in their movements, carefully swiping at his cheeks as though they meant to wipe away the dried up tears that were cracking on his skin. Kylo was sure that he must have passed out on the way there, he couldn’t recall the events that happened just after being carried from that terrible room, though he was immensely grateful that he had been brought somewhere with a bed.

He made to sit up, but those same hands that had just been on his face moved to his shoulders to press him back into the comforting warmth of the blankets. Glancing around in his delirium, he could at least tell that it was his own private quarters he’d been brought to, though he didn’t think to question how anyone might have figured out the code to enter without him being conscious enough to punch it in himself. As he let himself settle back down, Kylo’s gaze finally focused on the man who was seated next to him, currently leaning in over him in a manner that blocked the overhead light and left him cast in a shadow.

“General Hux.” He had meant to say it louder, or to follow it up with something more, but his throat was burning and he could hardly raise his voice above a whisper.

“Hush.” Hux handed over a glass, filled with cool water that left tantalizing drops of condensation on its surface.

Kylo was allowed to sit up then and he drank the liquid down like he’d been lost in the deserts of Jakku for days. The stinging of his throat was dulled by the cold fluid and he could feel his mind slowly returning to him. How much had the general seen? He was vaguely aware that he was nude under the blanket that had been draped over him, a detail that had the events of the last hour all flooding back to him at once. A shaking hand reached to set the glass on the nightstand, nearly dropping it in his haste to get it there. At least he knew he was safe now, and he had Hux to thank for that, as much as he may have held disdain for the man.

“I…” he began, only to stop and lick his lips (oh god, they tasted like piss and cum), “Thank you. Your help is… appreciated, but I need to be alone now. I will remember this.”

Dark eyes glanced up to meet the gaze of the man who had no reason to help him like he did, and Kylo expected the next move to be Hux standing to leave. Instead, the general remained firmly seated on the edge of the bed, his eyes clearly flicking between the Sith’s exposed chest and his face. It made Kylo immensely uncomfortable, those sick feelings returning despite his attempts at shoving them back down. This was Hux, sure the man disliked him, but he wouldn’t have helped him if he wanted to hurt him. He was getting worked up for no reason.

“I know you will remember this, Ren. I am going to make very sure of that.” There was a dark tone to the man’s voice, lacing his words with a promise that he didn’t need to say aloud. “I believe something is owed to me for being so generous as to save you. By my count, there were at least three other men lining up behind the one I caught inside of you. You’re lucky you aren’t a bigger mess with the idiotic stunt you pulled today, _Matt_.”

Ren felt whatever color had been left in his face immediately draining with the realization of what Hux was implying. Instead of the force, all he could find was that deep pit in his chest. _Not again._

“Get out,” he growled, brows furrowing, teeth grinding, “before I decide to break you.”

What he did not expect at all, was the smirk he saw tugging at one corner of the general’s lips. Anyone else would have run from the room with a threat like that, or so he had thought before this whole mess went down. Hux merely reached a hand out to trace his fingers along one slender collarbone, an act that left Kylo shivering despite the heat of the room. When did he become so weak?

“If you hurt me I will see to it that the security footage of the cafeteria is sent to each and every contact in the database. For once, Ren, _I_ am the one in charge.” With that, his hand was moving up, closing around Kylo’s throat. He crawled further onto the bed as he slammed him back against it, holding his hand firmly against his windpipe a few moments longer for good measure.

It was too much for one day, enough that he almost didn’t fight the hand on his throat in hopes of it causing him to pass out so that he might not have to be awake through whatever it was that Hux had planned for him. The thought of submitting completely was enough to bring his hands up to claw at the hand that choked him, he couldn’t be so pathetic, not again. Not again.

Nearly a second after, the hand was loosening up, leaving the trapped man to suck in a harsh lungful of air as he stared accusingly up at someone he should have been able to trust. He was met with a sudden coolness as the blanket was stripped from his form, leaving him naked and exposed for the second time that day. As his pulse quickened, his breath came in sharp little bursts, he wouldn’t cry this time, he refused to allow himself to show just how badly this was hurting him.

It was easy to tell himself one thing, so simple to say that he wouldn’t feel pain or fear, but forcing his body to comply with that? That was another thing entirely, something he had yet to master, his ultimate weakness. The moment he felt hands roaming his chest in a way that made him feel sicker than the roughness of earlier, he felt that familiar tightening return. Not again, not again. His vision blurred and he turned his head to the side as he felt his face scrunching up in that way that faces tended to do right before a person started to sob. Tearful eyes caught on a familiar shape on a stand across the room and Kylo found himself reaching toward it, as though he could focus the force enough to lift something so heavy in his current state.

When nothing happened, he realized that he’d begun mumbling in his desperation, “…mask, my mask, _please_.” If he could only put that on, if Hux would just let him wear it. His mask was his face, his safety net, no one could see the emotions he refused to admit he had, his pain didn’t exist when he was behind the layers of metal.

Those pleas went ignored as fingers continued their exploration of Ren’s body, nails scraping lightly along taut muscle and circling through the unkempt patch of hair just shy of his prick. “Use your hands to hide your shame if you must, I refuse to stare at that hideous thing while I fuck you.” The words were final, and Kylo had no room to protest as there was suddenly a hand wrapping around his length, which easily responded to the attention.

As quickly as he managed to cover his mouth, a sob still broke through his fingers, clearly audible and embarrassing enough to have Ren choosing to cover his eyes so he wouldn’t have to see Hux’s smug face. He was hard and there was a finger dipping beneath his foreskin to circle the head. Too sensitive, his hips bucked upward as he cried out. It was too much, the last person to touch him like this had been the whole reason he abandoned his past life, why he’d left behind his family, his dreams, his name.

“Ren,” _Ben,_ “don’t be so ungrateful.” _doesn’t it feel good?_

“Don’t call me that,” he pleaded, rubbing at his eyes so hard that he could see colors dancing in the blackness of his eyelids, “Anything else.”

“Oh? Suddenly you don’t like the name you’ve chosen for yourself, Ren? What would you rather I call you, _slut_ , perhaps?” Surely there was a smirk on Hux’s lips after the words had been spat in Kylo’s direction, but anything was better than the name that so closely resembled his given one. He said nothing, left it up to fate to decide how much torture he would have to endure this time.

Thankfully, the hand left his cock, as hard as he was, he would rather never get off again than to do it at the hands of someone as despicable as Hux. The feeling was short lived, however, as the worst possible sentence left the man above him shortly after, “Spread your legs.”

Kylo shook his head, still refusing to let his face leave the safety of his hands. “Let me roll over.” He couldn’t face the man who was blackmailing him, who was going to desecrate his body after everything that it had already been through.

The general was having none of that. “Spread your legs,” he repeated, a much firmer tone to his voice, “I will not ask you again.”

A pathetic whimper left Kylo’s lips as he slowly spread his legs, groaning as the movement reminded him of the tearing he had gone through at the hands of his men, wounds still fresh enough that the simple act of spreading his legs had them reopening. There were hands under his knees and his hips lifted, before settling upon a lap that was still clad in fabric. The slick feeling of precum against his thigh told him all he needed to know, that Hux hadn’t even fully removed his pants, this was to be a quick fuck. At least there was something to be grateful for.

To his surprise, there were two wet and slippery digits pressing against his hole, apparently the general had managed to find some kind of lubrication. It didn’t matter, those fingers pushed into him and the complete and utter soreness of each reopened wound had him gritting his teeth and hissing in pain. There was nothing that Hux could have done to make it not hurt, Kylo knew that his cock was going to feel so much worse, he wished the man would just get it over with already so he could finally have a moment to rest.

“Just do it!” he shouted, shoulders shaking from the effort of holding back his emotions. “You can’t make it not hurt, stop trying to dress this up into something nice.” God, his hands were absolutely soaked with the tears he refused to let spill.

“As you wish,” Hux replied, with all the emotion of a man being asked to clean something. His fingers were removed and Kylo’s hips were adjusted, something much thicker being pressed against his entrance.

He shouldn’t have tensed, he knew he should have relaxed, but all the fear of what he knew was to come had him tensing so badly that he would probably have muscle aches for the next several days. The initial penetration was slow, something he hadn’t realized he would be grateful for, though each agonizing inch had him clamping down so hard that he could hear Hux voicing his frustration in the form of grunts. By the time the man was buried to the hilt, Kylo was close to hyperventilating, his chest rising and falling so rapidly while his toes curled and his legs tensed.

“You’re only making this worse on yourself, you know.” The voice was calm, laced with annoyance. Ren was so tight that he was sure he must have been making it hard for Hux to move, honestly it was a wonder he could tighten like that at all with the way he’d been torn apart earlier.

Kylo offered no response, focusing only on his breathing as he attempted to regulate it down to a more acceptable level. His lips were parted, dried out with the way he’d been sucking in air, and he was sure that Hux must have been able to hear his heartbeat, it was pounding so loudly in his ears that he could hardly hear any other sound in the room. Apparently his lack of responding was something that Hux wasn’t fond of, as the man suddenly pulled out a short distance only to slam right back inside. That drew a sound, making the younger man cry out and whimper, his back arching in a way that almost hurt.

“It’s a wonder that anyone waited this long, who knew you would fall apart so easily?” Hux was moving in a steady pace, using nearly his entire length for each slow thrust. “Tell me, Ren, have you always been so fragile?”

There was that name again, why did it have to sound so similar? He would have taken being called a slut over having to mix all those awful past feelings in with this, he would have taken anything over having to remember that face saying his name like it meant something. Tightly closed eyes gave way to more tears, and he wasn’t aware of just how loudly he must have been sobbing until there was a heavy hand being slapped down over his mouth.

“As much as I love to hear your suffering, it would be wise for you to quiet yourself. Unless you _want_ someone to have reason to question what you were doing in here.”

Trembling hands finally fell away from tear soaked eyes, and Ren allowed himself to meet Hux’s gaze for the first time since he’d begun crying. A pitiful sniffle left him as he felt the man actually pause in his thrusting, leaving himself buried deep inside. _Too deep, fucking filthy._ It was as though he was being stared down, challenged to look away first. A battle of dominance.

Kylo Ren turned his head, accepting defeat in order to stare at the comforting visage of his mask. Willing some of the strength to seep across the room and fill him like the awful burning thing that felt like it was far too deep inside to be any kind of human.

“Good boy.” Hux withdrew his hand and Kylo broke for the second time that day.

Good boy. _Good boy._ Hadn’t he heard that phrase enough for an entire lifetime? With those words, every ounce of fight was drained from him, leaving him limp, putty in Hux’s hands. If he somehow tore enough to bleed out, he doubted he would care in the slightest, there was no coming back from this. Maybe he really would be better off if he begged Hux to choke him again, to keep going this time until he stopped breathing completely.

Slow and steady thrusting soon gave way to quick and uneven rutting, forceful enough to jolt Kylo’s body further up the mattress with each inward motion. Had he even blinked in the last several minutes? Unfocused and wet eyes stared in the general direction of his helmet, though he didn’t bother to silently beg for its strength any longer, not when he knew it would never come. He was vaguely aware of the soft sounds that left his lips, more from the force of his body being pushed than anything. 

_He felt nothing._

When Hux’s heavy breathing finally gave way to rough and rasping grunts, Kylo knew it was nearly over, not that it mattered at this point. Not that anything was ever going to matter again. The familiar sensation of a cock twitching inside of him preceded the second round of burning liquid to fill his bowels that day, and he was almost amazed at himself for not even flinching.

A hot and heavy body leaned down over him, hands on either side of his head as Hux’s face loomed far too close to his own. For a moment, Kylo was terrified that the man might attempt to kiss him, which seemed like such an insignificant thing to be scared of considering everything else he’d been through. Thankfully it seemed that the general had only been resting there as he let himself go soft inside of Kylo, since he sat back once he decided to pull out. Ren didn’t need to see his cock to know that it was covered in blood.

Suddenly there were fingers wrapping around his shaft, hard as it could be because that was simply how his body had been trained to work. It sent a jolt up his spine, followed by a shiver. Weak hands reached down to push at Hux’s wrist as he shook his head, finding enough energy in himself to dig his feet into the mattress and attempt to scoot back.

“Don’t touch me.” It was more of a request than an order, a plea that he hoped the man might listen to and comply with. “Please just go.”

Hux’s brow furrowed, and he almost looked confused for a moment, before it gave way to anger. Here he was, kind enough to offer a little bit of something nice in exchange for what he’d gotten out of Ren, and it was being met with complete refusal. He pulled his hand back with a sneer of disgust and wiped his filthy cock on the broken man’s sheet before tucking it away in his uniform.

“Ungrateful and pathetic,” he spat, climbing off the bed and carefully combing his hair back with his fingers. “You hear me, Ren?” Cold and uncaring eyes glared down at the Sith lord who was currently drawing himself into an even more pathetic fetal position. If the man heard the insult, he didn’t show it, something that had Hux scoffing in annoyance and turning on his heel.

Not a single parting word was offered as the general opened the door and left, posture just as straight as ever, as though he hadn’t just destroyed the once great Kylo Ren.

Somehow, the lack of care got to Kylo more than anything, leaving him a shaking mess as he let himself soak in everything that had just happened. No one cared about him, no one respected him. Anyone who had ever shown him any amount of compassion had clearly only done it because they were scared of him, he looked back upon each occasion, every mildly pleasant conversation, and he knew the look in their eyes was one of fear.

His gaze darted around the room as the heaving in his chest grew, not from sadness, but from anger. _Realization._ As his sight landed back on his helmet, everything all came crashing down upon him in the form of a sudden epiphany. With absolutely no care as to the state of his aching body, Kylo stood, swiftly making his way across the room. Careful fingers lifted to run along the smooth metal of his helmet, and he shuddered with a completely different emotion altogether.

If people wanted to see him broken, then they were going to see him broken in the worst possible way. Someone was going to pay for this, someone would be made an example of. Maybe several someones. Kylo Ren donned his usual uniform, feeling so much safer in the confines of the all black ensemble, saving his helmet for last, savoring the satisfying click it made as it was secured over his face.

He would start with the first person he saw, and he wouldn’t stop until everyone knew that the man they had seen in that cafeteria was _dead._

Ben Solo had died that day.

Kylo Ren had never felt more alive.


End file.
